Poet, social worker, mama, and Scorpio are among the identities of Stella Padnos. Her poetry appears in various forums and anthologies, including The Wild Word, Women’s Studies Quarterly,All We Can Hold: A Collection of Poetry on Motherhood, andGrabbing the Apple: An Anthology of New York Women Poets. Stella regularly performs as one of The Unbearables. Her debut collection of poetry, In My Absence, was released from Winter Goose Publishing in 2016. She enjoys writing about ambivalence, attraction, and general emotional discomfort.

Now available in Print & eBook

I’m so glad that you’re here; I’m so sorry that you’re here. Stella Padnos has welcomed many to suicide loss bereavement groups with these words. If you’re reading this, perhaps you, too, are navigating the labyrinthine trenches of grief. These poems offer a raw portrayal of new loss, bracketed by life’s insistence. While these poems may not aspire to joy, they do aspire to comfort in our shared kinship of loss and beyond.

Now available in Print & eBook

In My Absence

Not luminous, not ethereal, not numinous. These poems you are holding, as you do toothpaste or whiskey, are firmly sustained for use on earth. In mining her own life for material, Stella Padnos-Shea creates an intimate support circle for the living, replete with love, ambivalent parenting, at-times failing relationships, and loneliness among the crowds. Sustain the circle and pick up this book: you will find a new comrade sharing intimate accuracies about our lives. This book is a fine antidote to mindless busy-ness and ersatz “connectedness,” and a choice accompaniment to solitude.

“Stella Padnos-Shea’s words glow with passion, with anger, with pain. Can one be brutally original, as well as honest? In her case, yes. “Balancing between tears and desire,” she tells us “ambivalence is my middle name.” She tells us “what they don’t tell you” about suicide, marriage, motherhood—the forging and breaking of bonds. And somehow, miraculously, she does it all with chilling clarity and darkly playful wit. This book—as animated as it is intense—is one of the most impressive debut collections I’ve seen.”

—Elaine Equi, author of Sentences and Rain from Coffee House Press

“Stella Padnos-Shea’s wild, brave poems seem to be overheard—as if the reader were eavesdropping on an altercation between the speaker and another. The poet taunts, “You must know I’m evil, / I am not made of pure love for you, / ambivalence is my middle name.” Her trenchant words cut through labyrinths of anger and regret. Ironically seductive, this broken speaker finds shelter in meticulously constructed stanzas the way a fetus inhabits a womb. With lapidary precision and Plathian candor, the poet achieves something approximating birth—one that also acknowledges its death. Transforming absence into presence, she addresses the self and the reader, “In ecstatic ash / you are younger than ever, / time your only crease.”

—Dean Kostos, author of This Is Not a Skyscraper and Rivering